Relationship Warfare: The Exes of Evil

Although few of my relationships have been anything to write home about, I usually end up simmering in them months after we stopped liking each other until things end on extraordinarily bad and awkward terms... call it an exit strategy.

For some reason I've tried to stay friends with every one of my exes. This has never resulted in a positive situation.
Negative effects from these friendship attempts have run the gamut from being called a soul sucking succubus (nice alliteration, yes) to having the new psychotic girlfriend of the old psychotic ex regularly stand outside my house crying and throwing snowballs at my window.

Why is it so hard to let go?

TGIM

"As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy, and to make plans."
- Ernest Hemingway

It used to be a tradition of mine to go out for oysters and wine Mondays after work. I'm not sure why it fell out of fashion, but it was an incredible way to start a week.

Bukowski

My favorite...

Peons For Sale

Crispin answers the industry's latest conundrum: how to find entry path with clients taking their advertising in-house. Their solution? auctioning off interns.

Candy is Dandy

Chocolate has long been understood as decadently seductive. And when Mars chose to target women directly with their latest launch, they chose to oversexualize that fact.

The hyper-masturbatory offering is the 85 calorie Fling. The Fling "fingers" invite you to get "Naughty... but not that Naughty".
Obviously, they haven't optimized search to combat this image yet, as the first boolean and top paid searches are for sex sites.

If the obtuse campaign messaging doesn't make you throw up in your mouth, give one a try (in California and web-only until full launch later this summer).

Print:
TV:

On IQ, Happiness, and Outliers

Matt is an endless source of new information, which is one of the reasons I love him (that, and he's dreamy and sooo good at french kissing).

He recently brought to my attention a study that explains using delayed gratification to raise a child with a higher IQ. With nature and nurture being equally important in determining intellectual and behavioral outcomes, I can't shake this article on finding happiness out of my mind.

I know these are limited sources and fragments of thought, but it's born the question: If we are able to control our lives with positive thought and delayed gratification, why does it seem that so many people choose to suffer? Or why have we been unable to enable ourselves?

BBall, Bitches, and a BMT

Ron Artest, after tying it up last night with the Lakers in Game 6, had this incredibly relevant opinion to share in his post game interview:

"Five dollar footlong is one of the best songs, that’s a hot song. You’ve got the freecreditreport.com, and then five dollar footlong comes on. When five dollar footlong comes on, they should play that in the club. They should play all those in the club."

GNIKOMS TIUQ

Celebrating a year of non-smoking. woop woop!

Direct Mail Find - A ValPack Treasure

I was browsing through my junk mail and stumbled across this gem of a postcard. It registered while I was reading it that I had no need for a cleaning service (hopeless apartment), but still I kept reading. It was about the second paragraph before I realized how dark it sounded...

I guess I just have to respect any company that understands the equivocal stress of severe depression, cancer, burglary, and a visit from mom.

(But I'm looking forward to her visit tomorrow)

Feeling Woven Fine

I'm sick today - a vertigo kind of strange sickness.
So I slept in, hoping it would be gone when I woke
By 2, it hadn't, so I went downstairs to do some laundry
and I read some Raymond Carver poems
and feel worse than ever.


Photograph of My Father in His Twenty-Second Year

October. Here in this dank, unfamiliar kitchen
I study my father's embarrassed young man's face.
Sheepish grin, he holds in one hand a string
of spiny yellow perch, in the other
a bottle of Carlsbad Beer.

In jeans and denim shirt, he leans
against the front fender of a 1934 Ford.
He would like to pose bluff and hearty for his posterity,
Wear his old hat cocked over his ear.
All his life my father wanted to be bold.

But the eyes give him away, and the hands
that limply offer the string of dead perch
and the bottle of beer. Father, I love you,
yet how can I say thank you, I who can't hold my liquor either,
and don't even know the places to fish?

- Raymond Carver

Wino? Why, yes!

Great wines of 2009.
There have been lots, these are the highlights...

Loved enjoying this blended white (with Matt) over a poorly cooked dinner (by me):
Pine Crest 2008 Chenin Blanc ~ Viognier (90).
"Ruby grapefruit, pear, lychee and melon, with a delicate touch of spicy, white florals. Lively citrus and bright tropical fruit flavors are offered up alongside a supple texture. The slightly off-dry finish is clean and crisp."

Rang in the new year with this richly delicious, but sadly unaged, red:
Chateau de Beaucastel 2005 Chateauneuf du Pape (95).
"Packed with dark fig, currant and blackberry fruit shrouded by layers of tar, hot stone, bittersweet licorice and espresso."

Tastiest wine this year, enjoyed over client dinner at David Burke's Primehouse:
Coho 2005 Pinot Noir (85).
"Red cherry and violets exude from the glass, leading to mouth filling cherry flavors mingled with spicy cinnamon and toasted oak/vanilla tones."
So f-word-ing delicious. If anyone comes across, please pick me up a case.

(continuous update. please send suggestions)

Instant Pleasure

If you were to look at a curve of obsession with instant gratification, it would seem to be on a constant uptick (I buy into it). Twitter, Digg, etc are great examples of real-time, web based information perpetuating tools that have taken off and changed the way we consume media and seek information. "Unplugging", for most, would send us into a state of panic - fearful that we'd miss something crucially important.

It seems that brands (technology brands, in particular) have shifted their positioning to focus on this trend:

Sprint is doing it right.
"Now network" is engaging and offers immediate (and entertaining) real-time nonsequitor-esque data.

Intel is doing it wrong.
"Sponsors of tomorrow" is pervasive, but slow and unimaginative.


I've had a lot of thoughts about the implications of this shift, the greatest of which were lit by this Gladwell article. I'd love to hear yours...

'Amateur Archeology' or 'I Dreamt Big When I Was Little'

It was the summer of 1993, Jurassic Park was a huge hit and I was 10 years old. We lived in the house on Windemere and my sister and I had a nanny, so we spent a lot of time in our backyard.

One hot day my sister and I noticed something near the back of the garage, below our tree house near the tree swing. We dug it up. Our heads almost exploded with excitement.
I ran inside, my mom just got home, "MOM!!!"
"MOM COME QUICK, LOOK WHAT WE FOUND!!!"

Dinosaur bones. Big ones.

My mom, the tasteful mother hen she was, told me she would call some archeologists and take care of it. I forgot all about it

As I'm older, and more grounded in reality, I'm guessing my Velosaraptor was probably closer in kinship to a Bull Mastiff.

Insomnia

12:58
Conan is rolling through the closing credits. Arm is asleep. The entire left side of body has gone numb. On the couch. Shifting weight to the other side and flipping channel with functioning hand, shoulder pops back into place. This can’t be healthy.

2:18
Finally rise from the couch. Deciding against a glass of water (the Brita has had a mushroomy taste to it of late and haven‘t had the chance to buy a new filter), apathy trumping best intentions for a cup of Chamomile, climb into bed. Lights on. Book by side just in case.

4:44
Looking at the clock radio on the nightstand. Looking at it and not sleeping. Staring at the numbers; hoping that music will just start playing, then hoping it doesn’t, then feeling an overwhelming dread of what would happen if it actually does. Give up and go back to book, maybe that will act as sedative. Or at least keep mind occupied.

5:15
Must have dozed off. No update on music/non-music situation on the clock radio. It’s probably too early to take a shower and get ready. This will be a long day. Back to the book.

6:56
Still not sleeping, but an acceptable hour to shower and get ready. Go to the bathroom, toss underwear on the floor and turn on the water. Mind still racing. Warm up the water. Maybe this will help relax. Coffee will definitely be necessary to function this morning. This is the third night this week.

7:15
End shower in almost a panic, but not exactly sure what about. Towel off in the bathroom, put on kimono, lay in bed, watch the clock radio; still no updates. It is pitch black outside.

7:30
The alarm finally goes off, which is startling (which is laughable). Look outside to three inches of light creeping down the brick outside building. The sky is now a cornflower blue and the bricks are corn-yellow. Slip back into a meandering daydream. Today will be a long day.

Reeling

Love this animation/live action effect:

Courtesy of Hydra

Violence Followed By Sudden Candy

It's pinata season again. My favorite time of year.






Happy Cinco de Mayo

When Your Category Is Commodity

Starbucks could be considered the brand that drove coffee out of the commodity category and into the luxury. They drove it so fiercely, the expansion of the upscale drinks category became prolific, ridiculous even.

But with growth comes competition, and as the middle ground coffee purveyors (Dunkin' Donuts, etc) began to take advantage of a the "upscale gas station swill" white space in the category, consumers began to question spending premium prices.

Starbucks retaliated with a successful line breakfast offerings, defensive "our coffee isn't THAT expensive" communications, and finally, multiple store closings and huge layoffs (and a turn to mid-level category offering Seattle's Best).

Well get ready, Starbucks, because the biggest threat is yet to come.
McCafe, a McDonald's offering that has outperformed expectations in Australia and Asia, is set to shoot the archduke and start the coffee wars. (with a $100MM push this summer).

Will this heavy value proposition bring coffee back to commodity status? Does price still equal value? Can Starbucks fight back while consumers are still feeling economically sensitive? I'm curious.

New Starbucks work:

It Was No Ether Party

In my childhood, every Sunday after church my father and I would go to my grandparents' house for a visit. My dad would promise we'd only be there for an hour, but it always rolled into two or three, every one of which moved rainy-afternoon slow.

I'd complain in the car on the way there, sulk and scuff my shoes on the way up the sidewalk, then fantasize about all other sorts of Sunday afternoon activities: climbing trees with my friend Bridget, practicing dance routines for Star Search with my friend Amanda and my sister, or even vegging out to Nickelodeon. Pretty much everything sounded better than spending a Sunday stuck in an old person's house.

Although they were only in their 60s, their life felt much more antiquated; perhaps it was my grandmother's curious English accent (she was raised in Nebraska) or the full suit of armor that stood at the end of the hallway or the trundle bed in the room next to the library that smelled like cedar and old books.

My grandparents would force their old-timey entertainment on me – making me read Louisa May Alcott or play a few games of Yahtzee or Boggle or Black Jack. Other times I would be compelled to find other sources of entertainment – working the pedals of the ancient Singer machine, encapsulating myself in said trundle bed until someone came to find me, or breathing as hard as possible in my grandpa's lung capacity machine until I was on the verge of passing out.

It's taken nearly twenty years to come to appreciate the quietness that filled the Sunday afternoons of my childhood. Twenty years and weekends that are now filled with conference calls.

Un Petit Dîner Pour Deux

With an undying looove for the Barefoot Contessa and the recipes that she shares, I made this dinner both quickly and perfectly. Which is not surprising, as everything she makes is both so easy, simple, delicious and (best of all) foolproof.


LEMON CHICKEN WITH CROUTONS and CARMALIZED SHALLOTS

1 (4 to 5-pound) roasting chicken
1 large yellow onion, sliced
Good olive oil
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
2 lemons, quartered
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
6 cups (3/4-inch) bread cubes (1 baguette or round boule)

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.

Take the giblets out of the chicken and wash it inside and out. Remove any excess fat and leftover pinfeathers. Toss the onion with a little olive oil in a small roasting pan. Place the chicken on top and sprinkle the inside of the cavity with salt and pepper. Place the lemons inside the chicken. Pat the outside of the chicken dry with paper towels, brush it with the melted butter, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Tie the legs together with kitchen string and tuck the wing tips under the body of the chicken.

Roast for 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hours, or until the juices run clear when you cut between the leg and the thigh. Cover with foil and allow to sit at room temperature for 15 minutes. (The onions may burn, but the flavor is good.)

Meanwhile, heat a large sauté pan with 2 tablespoons of olive oil until very hot. Lower the heat to medium-low and sauté the bread cubes, tossing frequently, until nicely browned, 8 to 10 minutes. Add more olive oil, as needed, and sprinkle with 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Place the croutons on a serving platter. Slice the chicken and place it, plus all the pan juices, over the croutons. Sprinkle with salt and serve warm.

6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter
2 pounds fresh shallots, peeled, with roots intact
3 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoons good red wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Melt the butter in a 12-inch ovenproof sauté pan, add the shallots and sugar, and toss to coat. Cook over medium heat for 10 minutes, tossing occasionally, until the shallots start to brown. Add the vinegar, salt, and pepper and toss well.

Place the sauté pan in the oven and roast for 15 to 30 minutes, depending on the size of the shallots, until they are tender. Season, to taste, sprinkle with parsley, and serve hot.

Big bottle of wine, big appetite, wonderful meal.