Insomnia

12:58
Conan is rolling through the closing credits. Arm is asleep. The entire left side of body has gone numb. On the couch. Shifting weight to the other side and flipping channel with functioning hand, shoulder pops back into place. This can’t be healthy.

2:18
Finally rise from the couch. Deciding against a glass of water (the Brita has had a mushroomy taste to it of late and haven‘t had the chance to buy a new filter), apathy trumping best intentions for a cup of Chamomile, climb into bed. Lights on. Book by side just in case.

4:44
Looking at the clock radio on the nightstand. Looking at it and not sleeping. Staring at the numbers; hoping that music will just start playing, then hoping it doesn’t, then feeling an overwhelming dread of what would happen if it actually does. Give up and go back to book, maybe that will act as sedative. Or at least keep mind occupied.

5:15
Must have dozed off. No update on music/non-music situation on the clock radio. It’s probably too early to take a shower and get ready. This will be a long day. Back to the book.

6:56
Still not sleeping, but an acceptable hour to shower and get ready. Go to the bathroom, toss underwear on the floor and turn on the water. Mind still racing. Warm up the water. Maybe this will help relax. Coffee will definitely be necessary to function this morning. This is the third night this week.

7:15
End shower in almost a panic, but not exactly sure what about. Towel off in the bathroom, put on kimono, lay in bed, watch the clock radio; still no updates. It is pitch black outside.

7:30
The alarm finally goes off, which is startling (which is laughable). Look outside to three inches of light creeping down the brick outside building. The sky is now a cornflower blue and the bricks are corn-yellow. Slip back into a meandering daydream. Today will be a long day.